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Maury is making me sad, sure.
But it’s also making me feel SO MUCH BETTER about my life.
Maury is on in the waiting room.
It’s making me sad.
In a waiting room at a tire repair shop. Sure would like for this tire to be fixable. Sure would like that a lot.
I’m afraid I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run, if you will, so I’m afraid I have something of a mess on my hands.
“free cowboy hat government program”
(Source: neilcicierega)
There is a bag of pretzels directly to my right, so the fortune may be on to something.
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“Because we’re Delta Airlines, and life is a fucking nightmare!” — John Mulaney