I have a pretty great job, my girlfriend is wonderful, got an apartment with two great friends, I made biscuits and gravy for breakfast, coffee exists, and I helped write another sketch show (which opens in about two weeks) that is being performed one of the stages at Second City. So, you know, things are currently pretty darn good.
Are you standing outside waiting for an airport shuttlebus somewhere? Does your child have to go to the bathroom? Can you literally see a bathroom from where you’re standing? Is your child toilet trained and definitely at least five years old, if not older? Then maybe you should take them to that bathroom instead of pulling their pants down, lifting your child up and holding them over a garbage can to shit all over the place. Just something to consider.